Every night I see him. He is very nice to me, and we get along well. Sometimes, we play games or read books. He is my best friend. I try to tell mommy about him, but she won’t believe me. She says that the security at the hospital is very good, and that no one has visited me but herself. I try to tell her otherwise, but she doesn’t listen. I tell the doctors about him, but they only smile and nod.
One day, mommy gets mad and tells me to stop talking about him because it scares her. I tell her that there is nothing scary about him. I tell her how I was scared of him at first too because of how he looks, but he is very kind once you get to know him. He says he doesn’t like his sharp teeth and horns because he wants to look like an angel. I say I like him just the way he is. He only visits at night because he can’t go out in the sun, or he’ll get in trouble. He tells me that he really wants to see the sun one day. I ask him what his name is every night. He always says he can’t tell me. I ask him why. He tells me that it’s not my time. He leaves just before the sun comes out.
Mommy comes to visit in the morning. I want her to stay at the hospital tonight, so she can meet my friend. She says she will tomorrow because she has work tonight. That makes me feel kind of sad. I want mommy to stay tonight. She says she is sorry and buys me a present. I open it. It is a doll. I think it is very pretty. I play with my new doll all day. The doctor is always talking to mommy. Mommy always cries when they talk. I tell the doctor to stop making mommy cry. He tells me that if I stay strong mommy will stop crying. I try very hard to be strong, but I cannot move well. The doctor brings me food. It has lots of vegetables. I don’t like them, but he says it will make me strong. I eat all my vegetables and ask for more.
Now it’s night time. I am waiting patiently for my friend to come and visit. When I see him, I get really happy because I know we will play. No one likes to play at the hospital. They say that I can’t play, or I will get sicker. I show him my new doll. He says it is pretty. I tell him that mommy will visit tomorrow night. He says that she shouldn’t. I ask him why. He claims that she won’t see him. I don’t believe him. He asks me not to bring her. I want to bring mommy, but I agree since he is my best friend. I am getting tired, but I still want to play. I explain to him about how I want to get healthy. He says that that’s great. I ask him if he will still visit me when I am healthy. He announces that once I get healthy, I won’t have any need for him. That makes me unquestionably sad. I state that I don’t want to get healthy if we can’t play anymore. He tells me that I will have plenty of new friends, and that he is no one to worry about. I am much sadder now. I want to cry. He says that if he stays forever, I won’t ever see mommy again. I don’t understand. He then sings me a lullaby, so I can go to bed happy.
In the morning I feel sick. The doctor gives me medicine. It does not taste good. When mommy comes to see me I tell her about what my friend said. She looks worried, but I say that I will keep being strong because he told me to. Mommy hugs me and says that she loves me. I tell her that I love her so much that she’s even better than my dolly. She is smiling. Later I hear mommy talking to the doctor. She explains to him what I said about my friend. He says that it is probably just my imaginary friend. I am mad. I want everyone to be friends with him, so that he can be happy too. Mommy tells me that she has to go to work. She gives me a kiss. I say bye-bye.
When Mommy comes back, I tell her that I want to look pretty like the girl on television. Mommy looks sad, but she says okay. She leaves for a little bit. She comes back with a beautiful dress, and a wig. She dresses me because she doesn’t want me to strain myself. I put on the wig by myself. I want to wear makeup, but the doctor states that it isn’t good for me. I look in the mirror. I look very pretty. I think I am a celebrity. I take lots and lots of pictures with mommy. After I play in the dress, mommy tells me to take it off, so I can sleep comfortably. I don’t want to take off my dress, or wig. She tells me I need to take them off. I ask her politely if I can keep the wig on because I don’t want to look like a boy. She lets me keep the wig on. When mommy leaves the room, I see her talk to the doctor. She is crying again. I feel bad because I am not getting strong. I think about how to get strong. I get up even though it hurts. I try to lift up three heavy books, so that I can get muscles. I put the books down. I don’t feel good.
The doctors come to help me. They give me yucky medicine. I don’t feel better. I am waiting for my friend now. He doesn’t come. I am getting scared by myself. I feel really sick. I want my friend. My stomach is hurting, and it is hard to breathe. I see doctors rush into the room. I want my friend to come. I throw up. Mommy is here now. She is holding my hand. She is sobbing. I try to tell her that I am okay because I am strong, but I cannot speak. I am coughing. The doctors put a mask on me. It is helping a little bit. I still do not see my friend. I am crying because my body hurts.
My friend comes into sight. I am happy, but I still do not feel good. My friend looks sad. He is telling me to fight. I am confused. The doctors stop moving. I look at mommy. She is not crying anymore. I do not feel bad now. My friend reaches for my hand. He tells me that he is sorry. I don’t know what he means. I grab his hand. He says for me to come with him. I want to know why. He says that it’s my time. I ask him if I can know his name now. He turns around and sighs.
“Death.”