Daniel sat there, with a heart in his hands. It was a hand-made, paper card that Gerald made him for Valentines’ Day. He gripped it tightly, and brought it to his chest. Hugging it as if he was hugging Gerald back to life. He tried that with his body too. The first tear fell. Images of his dead boyfriend floated around in his brain, portraying themselves into his reality occasionally.
“Daniel! Daniel, it’s me!” he giggled, “What are you doing kneeled in the ground silly? It’s time to watch our show!” Gerald’s voice echoed through the emptiness of Daniel’s heart. Daniel looked up to the window, the curtains were drawn, but not the full way. The betrayal of sunlight peaked through the slight opening in the drapes. It shone in Daniel’s face. How dare something shine? So soon after the world’s greatest tragedy. Nothing will ever be as bright as Gerald’s smile when he spoke. Nothing will ever compare to the way Gerald’s eyes light up like a kid in a candy shop, when he was in a candy shop. Nobody will ever replace him! No one can. Another tear, another sob, another heavy breath. Daniel brought the silly paper card almost no longer physically possibly closer to his chest. He tucked his legs and arms closer and formed a tight ball of emptiness and regret. Regret that he didn’t get home fast enough. Emptiness because the only thing that made him whole is gone forever. Whenever Daniel called Gerald the sun, he wasn’t joking. Gerald brought Daniel life. Without him, Daniel should be dead. Why wasn’t he?! How can he continue living without Gerald? If the Earth would die without the sun, then why hasn’t Daniel died without his? Daniel’s body racked with grief. Greif was flowing as a light green liquid from his eyes.
Daniel thought back to his favourite moments with Gerald; when Gerald got his first fidget spinner, he sat in his favourite rocking chair and just spun it. He was so entranced by the darn thing he forgot to sleep. Daniel came home late from work one night, and he saw Gerald spinning the spinner with great big bags under his eyes, but a smile on his face.
Daniel laughed, it was a liquid laugh, filled with misery and good intentions.
Daniel thought back to when they first met. Daniel had been stood up again by his dick of a boyfriend. To be honest, he wasn’t sure why he was still with him. There Daniel was, drinking his third root beer waiting for his prince that he was sure wasn’t coming. But just then, he walked in. Gerald. Soaking wet, and blushing.
He walked into the small diner with a smile plastered on his face; “Hey! Sorry I’m late babe! Traffic was so slow!” And he leaned close to Daniel’s cheek, as if to kiss it, but instead whispered; “I’m Gerald, just go with it yeah? Whoever didn’t show up is a dick.” And pulled away with a smile and sat down in the booth with Daniel. And the rest is history. He somehow knew Daniel had been stood up, and was there when all eyes were looking pitifully in his direction. Daniel’s real Prince Charming. His real knight in shining armour.
Daniel hugged the small card tighter. The crumpling of the fragile paper brought him back to this reality and urged him to uncurl his tightly-wound body. Gerald always lived by the quote “It’s the thought that counts” when dealing with gifts. That Valentines’ Day, Gerald made Daniel a home-made card in the shape of a heart.
It said:
“Dear Daniel,
In a couple days will be the 3rd Anniversary of our first date.
We’ve had to deal with lots of heardships hardships in that time.
(Especially when Gilbert died) *two ‘X’s for eyes and a smile with a tongue poking out*
But even through all of that, we made it. We never once broke our record. And we’re still going strong Daniel, and I know we can do it for years to come. I just know it, so save this note Daniel, because I will quote this at our wedding. I can hear the bells already! As soon as we have the funds, I’ll do it Butter, I’ll do it. ‘Till then, love me like I love you. <3
~Toast
(P.S) (we’ll get another Gilbert, right? Gilbert the second! XP)
(P.P.S) (And maybe a dog!)
(P.P.P.S) (Or a cat)
(P.P.P.P.S) (OR BOTH! ☺)
Daniel only cried more. The light green, a now more constant stream, flowing freely down his cheeks and onto the now-crumpled paper with a splash. That seemed to jostle Daniel out of his stupor, because he stood up with a start.
“Oh god,” Daniel said in horror, worried and scared that he might lose yet another thing that means the world to him. “Nonononono…” Daniel panicked, un-crumpling the paper until he could read the hand-written chicken scratch as clear as possible. Daniel hugged the card to his chest and rocked back on his heels; “Nononono, Gerald I promised! I promised I’d never hurt this, I promised I’d never hurt you!”
Daniel couldn’t stop the stampede of memories that charged through his mind, trampling him with pain, and dragging him; kicking, and screaming back to that night. That late night. The only late night that Daniel wish he could take back. No, the only night he wishes he could take back. Re-do, give it another go, ANYTHING, as long as it meant he could save Gerald. Hell, he’d switch places with him in a heartbeat. If it meant Gerald would be safe.
But no. Daniel was working late. He did anything he could to get more money for the two of them. That often meant working late for extra cash. Normally it was fine, but not this night. There had been a news report on just before Daniel left; “A serial killer that police are trying to catch is still on the loose, please call this number immediately if you happen to have any information.” The boring TV droned on; this kind of stuff only happens to other people.
Daniel thought mindlessly while getting ready for work; “You’ll be home at the usual time, right? I don’t want you getting hurt. There’s a serial killer on the loose.” Gerald asked worriedly as he turned around on the couch to face his boyfriend.
“Sorry, I have to stay late again.” When Daniel saw his boyfriend’s face droop, he quickly reacted: “But hey! It’s more money, right?”
Gerald nodded, albeit not as happy as he would’ve liked, but a nod nonetheless. Daniel nodded back, more to himself than anything else. He grabbed his satchel, gave Gerald a quick kiss on the forehead, said his goodbyes, and walked out the door. If only he knew what waiting for him the next time he opened that door.
Daniel finally returned home. Tired, worn-out, and wanting to recharge. He lazily unlocked the door to his apartment, and swung the door open. He didn’t bother to look around quite yet as he tossed his keys into the key bowl directly to the right on the door. Daniel yawned and reached for the light switch. He fumbled with it at first, but when he managed to get it work, he wished he hadn’t.
The sight was too much. Way too much.
Daniel crumbled;
There was blood, everywhere.
But the most noticeable, was the great, big pool of it. Just in the middle of the hallway right in front of him. On top, and facing away from Daniel, was the unmistakable body of his boyfriend.
“Gerald…?” Daniel tried calling out, both scared that he would answer, and scared that he wouldn’t. “Gerald please, this isn’t even remotely funny.” Daniel didn’t even try to cover the quiver in his frail voice.
This must be a prank, he’ll get up, blame the mess on some trick with syrup and dye! And we’ll all laugh about it! Daniel scraped together his mumbled thoughts murmuring around his ears. The dark green that painted the hallway was an unwanted Pollock mural in the apartment. Dark green was splattered on every inch of a, once white, hallway. This hallway was littered with framed memories, and each one has a specifically made green blotch of blood on each and every one with Gerald’s face.
A sob shook its way through Daniel as he slowly made his way down the hallway. With every step, his throat grew tighter, and tighter. Until he couldn’t breathe without the lump in his throat reminding him something was wrong. Daniel approached the puddle and heard the squish from the semi-dried blood when his shoes made contact with the thing that once kept his best friend alive. Daniel kneeled down and touched his partner’s shoulder lightly, as if to try to wake him up carefully. When that didn’t work, he did it more forcefully. The chill Gerald’s body had was soaked up by the fabric of his t-shirt; so as soon as Daniel touched his shoulder, he felt it too. That only made him panic more.
“Gerald!” Daniel sobbed; “Gerald wake up!” he shook him a little harder, “GERALD!” he cried out. Daniel picked Gerald up by both of his shoulders and truly saw his face. And he wished he hadn’t.
Gerald’s eyes had been carved out of his head. Almost as if with a spoon.
The top of his head had a line, curving all around it, almost as if someone cut all along the crown. The line was stained with the same dark green that coloured the rest of this god-forsaken house. But what made it worse; is that Gerald’s head had been emptied out completely. Daniel whimpered. Gerald’s mouth had a great big, fake, green smile carved into his once plump rosy cheeks. Which now were hallowed out, pale, and cold to the touch. His once voluminous, soft, carefree dark green hair; was now a dead, pale, white. His marker had run out of ink. His eyes were glassy and glazed over with the veil of the afterlife. To prevent the people of the living to see what was going on behind the veil. Those once vibrant, laughing eyes, were now dead: Lifeless, numb, unfeeling, Gone.
He is gone.
Gerald was never supposed to look like this! Never! Daniel swore in it! He swore!! Daniel collapsed; “HELP! SOMEBODY PLEASE! MY- MY BOYFRIEND! SOMEBODY PLEASE!” He knew there was no saving him. But maybe if he just hugged him a little tighter; “GERALD PLEASE! PLEASE GERALD I NEED YOU! I REALLY NEED YOU! GERALD PLEASE!” Daniel bawled; He hugged the body tightly, crying out, and screaming his name. Maybe if he cried hard enough, hugged him tight enough, called his name out loud enough, he’d come back.
The dark green puddle is not so slowly soaking into Daniel’s pants: reminding him of the bitter coldness of death emanating from Gerald’s icy, unresponsive, body. The once vibrant colours, the embarrassed pinks, the sad blues, the angry reds, never to be seen again. The tears fell one after the other, they tumbled from Daniel’s eyes, onto Gerald’s corpse, as if trying to bring him back with the power of love or some other stuff. Daniel didn’t care! So long as Gerald was there to wipe them from his cheeks, like he had done so many times before. But no warm, soft hand reached up, and stroked his cheek. There were no comforting words whispered into his ear, and no loving hand to rub his back. It was just him, and dead memories.