Everyone’s favourite disgraced spy Ethan Hunt has returned yet again, in the 34th installation of the Mission Impossible series. Or is it the 87th? I’ve lost count.

Mission Impossible: Fall Down promises yet again to pit the IMF team against the biggest baddest big bad yet, just as Mission Impossible: Rogue Protocol did before it. We the audience get to enjoy watching Tom Cruise fling himself out of planes and run along rooftops and trains, all while chasing the Biggest Crime Boss the world has ever seen (at least since the last one). Or maybe he’s running after a more original plot. After all, how many more variants of the ‘spy gets relieved of his duties, continues to investigate big bad, is warned off by an alcoholic angry boss, nearly dies and saves the day at the last moment’ can we sit through?

Okay, so there’s no denying that Mission Impossible is a classic. Or rather, was a classic as it ceased to be original about 112 films ago. The power of Scientology can keep Tom Cruise looking young for only so much longer. What will we do when the fountain of eternal youth finally runs out? Watch an 93 year old Cruise hobble around foreign embassies with a cane, sending enemies to their knees with one strike? How would he ride a motorcycle? Maybe he’d have to hijack a Ford Taurus instead. Maybe Mission Impossible will become even more James Bond-esque and simply swap out its lead actor and hope that no one will question why he looks completely different yet has the same name too much.

Mission Impossible has to be one of the most successful recycling programs the world has ever seen. How many times can we watch the same movie plot with different actors and different settings?

Enough is enough. It’s time to park the motorcycle for good, hang up the night vision goggles and say goodbye to Ethan Hunt.

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